Nov 20, 2019
What do I believe causes the guilt feelings?
Quite simply a guilt feeling comes from a place of lack! A lack of time to… a lack of skill for… a lack of knowledge about… a lack of answers for… and on an on..!
I say simply because if you condense down every situation that triggers guilt, you are going to eventually end up at a place of lack, however there is a sliding scale of many other situations and emotions that sit along any one line/strand of guilt as you start to unfold it.
Let’s take working mums for example and look at a few strands of guilt that can sit within this. Being a working mum/parent creates what I call ‘The Pressure Gap’ between home life and work life because a career has the opposite effect, you give this time (making you feel guilty), you have the skill, you have the knowledge, you have the confidence, you have the answers, if not you know where to find them. Not having this same drive excitement, skill, knowledge and confidence at home can make you feel, frustrated, through any combination of other emotions… to angry… and then eventually guilty!
Work can give you a buzz – you can feel guilty if home doesn’t do this for you too! You feel confident at work because you know what you are doing - you can feel guilty if home life doesn’t feel the same way too!
These are just a few examples of the many different situation that can trigger the different stands of emotions that lead to guilt, which all then sit on the underlying foundation, set out in my definition of guilt, where there is a lack of skill, knowledge and understanding being obtained in advance within the subject area of parenting and family life!
If you had studied and knew the subject of Parenting and family life as well as you do your career you would be as confident, on task and successful at home too and self-assured about being able to push ‘guilt’ out to the side-lines!
We are now halfway through my sharing on the subject of guilt focusing on the working parent, however I am sure you are aware, I am just touching the surface of what needs to be understood, however I would like to reassure you there is a solution to it all for parents because this is where my work, study and research is focused, in supporting parents to build a guilt-free purposeful life, career and family life, in order to safeguard the long-term future of your family’s mental and emotional health and wellbeing.
Tomorrow I will be posting out the answer to question 4:
Do you think the phenomenon has got worse in recent years? And if so, why?