Nov 21, 2019
Do you think the phenomenon has got worse in recent years? And if so, why?
Before I move on to answering this pivotal question I would just like to say that I don’t communicate anything without having worked out a solution to it first – if not, all I am doing is scaremongering and that is not who I am! I take - wanting to support you in building a guilt free, purposeful life, career and family life - and helping you to understand what you need to know ahead of time in order to safeguard the long-term future of your family’s emotional health and wellbeing – very seriously!
I have been researching into parenting and family life for over twenty years now to the point that it has become my life. So throughout any of my communication’s with you, I will always be offering a solution at the end as a choice for you and your family.
So moving on to the question: Is ‘mummy guilt’ getting worse?
Yes I believe this phenomenon of ‘mummy guilt’ has and will continue to get worse if it is not intercepted!
Why…? Because society has changed and is still changing and with the speed and pressure of life today if parents aren’t taking control of emotions in general (guilt being just one of them) and understanding these emotions in order to manage them and then passing this skill, knowledge and understanding onto your children – then mental and emotional health and wellbeing will start spiralling out of control! And with the introduction of the Internet being only twenty years old, this spiralling out of control is already starting to happen and the affects of this being felt both within the home and at work.
Regarding society - If we go back to the Victorian age people then were not in touch with their emotions the same as we are today, women and children were taught not to feel, think or speak (to feel, think or speak was ‘beaten out of you’ from a very young age). Today’s society is all about self-development, self-awareness and self-discovery all of which involves - feeling your emotions!
Therefore, moving from a place where your emotions are being shut down into a time where the floodgates to your emotions are now open, is challenging and if you have no understanding of how to manage and control this outpouring, over time, your emotions are going to end up out of control and controlling you!
And this is what we are starting to witness in society now as the pressure on people’s mental and emotional health and wellbeing is starting to spiral out of control and affecting society as a whole. Therefore, at some level and place within society someone needs to be taking control of this and what I mean by this is – Taking Control of the Cause - Not taking control of the Effects that are showing up!
This is where I see we are stuck in a ‘chicken and egg situation’ – is it the children or the adults that need to be taking control of their emotions and mastering the understanding of this first?
This is were I believe parents need to be thinking more intelligently about this situation and accepting the role and responsibility of starting the process of understanding how to ‘Mastering Emotion’ within the home, learning how to do this in a structured way and then passing this skill, knowledge and understanding onto your children by example and through guidance, so at least you and your children don’t get caught up in this ‘epidemic’ that is unfolding, which is starting to attack the mental and emotional health and wellbeing within society right now!
On a sliding scale of intensity, early symptoms of this are showing up as pressure within the home turning into conflict, where emotions become out of control either from the adults the children or both!
And on the subject of guilt, which is the emotion we are focusing on here, parents need to start becoming aware of this ‘stand-off’ that is happening regarding the reality of this - is it the parents or the children that need educating about this?
As the adults in the situation within the home, if you don’t want to accept the role and responsibility of managing this - guilt will start creeping in or if you do want to accept the role and responsibility of sorting this out but don’t know how to start mastering the understanding of emotion for your family - guilt will start creeping in here too!
There is also another form of guilt waiting in the wings and that is one of ‘parenting guilt’ and some awareness needs to be put into this too, for example… regarding the Internet at whatever age your children are – as a parent the question is, how much intervention vs what intervention and what if something does happen that affects my child physically or emotionally in some way - I would never forgive myself!
There seems to be a ‘double edge sword’ to all of this for parents – I’m dammed if I do and I’m dammed if I don’t - situation of care going on! I know it’s tough and I believe parents need help, support and guidance through all of this especially on the subject of emotion as a start!
There is also the speed and pressure of the working environment and the introduction of the internet, where there is more to learn, more skills to acquire, more growth to attain, which is only putting more pressure on time and making the ‘knowledge gap’ between work and home even wider and the reality that in parenting and family life there is also more to learn, skills to acquire and growth to attain yet this is not even on any agenda regarding the knowledge that is needing to be understood and achieved for the sake of the family unit as a whole!
When the truth is parents need to be aware that parenting and family life also needs to be keeping up with its own knowledge within itself in order to help alleviate the emotional pressures, such as guilt showing up within it.
And therefore the knowledge gap that exists within the home at present is the weak link within the work/life balance formula that needs to be caught up with in order that home and work can be more balanced and aligned!
If not, who or what is going to suffer because of this, is it the emotional health and wellbeing or your children, you as an individual or your marriage? I know this may sound harsh, however with over 52% of the World’s marriages ending in divorce this has to be mentioned as a consideration.
Again, I want to reassure you that there is a solution to all of this that is quite simple, that parents take the first step in accepting the role and responsibility of taking over the reins and moving forward in understanding the process of how to ‘Master Emotion’ for yourself and your children and I have done all of the hard work for you in understanding how so you don’t have to figure this out for yourself, in the form of the ‘Master Emotion’ programme - as a fast-track approach and solution in supporting you and your family in understanding how to master emotion, from a personal, couple and family perspective.
Which is there as a choice for you and your family - I can only bring the structure and process to the table as a way of guiding you away from the onslaught of chaos, confusion, guilt, doubt, pressure and stress – into a new intelligent and organised direction of clarity, confidence, ease and flow - after that it’s then up to you to make it happen.
Please revisit the Intelligent Parenting website if you would like to know more information about this product or contact me [email protected] and I will be happy to get back with you.
Question 5/6 and 7 are all interlinked so I will be answering these together in the next blog: